


Do We Kiss Now?

by frapandfurious, oorsprong



Series: Two Thousand Two [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Boyfriends, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Protective Hux, Sad Kylo Ren, benarmie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 21:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10172135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/oorsprong/pseuds/oorsprong
Summary: When Hux turned the lights he out could hear the others carry on without him as they talked in hushed voices broken by the occasional giggles, mostly from Phasma, and he curled up tighter at the pang of loneliness..Ben allowed himself to release a shuddering breath which turned, against his will, into a sharp hiccup. He froze, hoping that no one was awake enough to hear it.For a moment he was sure the slip had gone unnoticed. Then something rustled behind him, a blanket being pushed aside, and the floor creaked as someone moved closer.“Ben?”





	

The important thing, Ben told himself as he kicked off muddy shoes and sweaty socks next to the front door in a pile that his mother would yell at him for-- sure she would, that was her favorite tone of voice…  The important thing, he reminded himself, trying to block out his mother’s angry words in her head where they sprung to life again and again…

 

The important thing was that he hadn’t gotten suspended.  So his parents wouldn’t find out.  A few Saturdays wouldn’t kill him.  He picked up the cordless and took it upstairs to his bedroom to call Hux.

 

His mother sat on his bed, hands folded primly in her lap.  It was an ambush.

 

 _“Mom,_ what the f--  What are you doing in here!?”  

 

“Have a seat,” she said, gesturing to his desk chair.  Too angry to give in to the cold feeling in his gut that warned him not to piss her off any further, he lashed out instead.

 

“I told you not to come in here,” he hollered, slamming the door behind him.  The unpinned bottoms of the posters on his wall fluttered from the force of it.

 

“Have a seat,” she repeated in a tone that meant serious trouble.   

 

He held back another protest but dropped his backpack dramatically beside the desk to make his displeasure clear.

 

“I got a call from the school today.  Is there something you want to tell me?”  It was the clipped voice she always used when waiting for him to crack-- to make a fool of himself explaining.  He wouldn’t give into it.

 

“It sounds like you already know,” Ben grumbled, avoiding her eyes.

 

“Maybe I want to hear it from my son and not a man who calls me-- at work no less-- to tell me that my son didn’t show up to two of his classes and is going to have to be driven to a month of weekend detentions--”

 

“I’ll walk,” Ben interrupted.

 

“You most certainly won’t.  Or how will I know I’m not going to have to hear from the school again telling me that you didn’t show up to _those?”_

 

While she talked Ben became acutely aware of the phone still in his hand, his thumb hovering over the _call_ button. Suddenly listening to Hux brag about his most recent test scores sounded like heaven compared to this.

 

“And I asked him, I said,” she continued, “I am sure he deserves whatever punishment the school sees fit, but is a month of detentions customary for a first offense?  Do you know what he told me?”

 

A tight smile crossed her lips.  He was fucked.

 

“Go on, guess what that nice man from the school had to say about your absences.”

 

If he kept his mouth shut there was a possibility, however slim, that she didn’t really know the extent of it.  They didn’t call the parents the first time and he was pretty sure they didn’t call the second.

 

Leia broke the silence to add, “He told me you've had _five_ in the past _two weeks_.”

 

Oh.

 

“You're lucky they're only giving you detention,” she continued. “You do realize that if you have too many absences, you have to go to summer school, right?”

 

Ben had thought about that, but figured he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. At the moment he had more pressing matters, like escaping his mother's onslaught and calling Hux.

 

“So what do you have to say for yourself, Ben?  What possible pressing reason was there to be absent from classes you’re already having trouble in?.”  

 

His mind scrambled for an answer. He couldn’t tell her it was Hux he was skipping with. Not only could that get Hux in trouble, too, but also his mother might try to stop Ben from seeing him. Just the thought of that being forbidden to him filled him with anger.  Hux was his only friend, and as much as Ben liked to think he was too cool to need anybody, Hux was different, and Ben didn’t want to lose him.

 

“I’m not failing any classes.”

 

“You better believe you won’t be.  Because you’re going to bring your homework to each of those Saturday’s and _I’m_ going to be meeting with your teachers to assess your progress.”

 

Typical.  She’d humiliate him in every way possible.  He couldn’t even be trusted to take care of his own shit.  What would his teachers care as long as he didn’t flunk out?  They sure didn’t need his mother pestering them.

 

His frustration boiled over too quickly for him to stop it, and he snapped.

 

“Just stay out of it, okay!?  I’ll go to the detentions and it won’t happen again, alright?”

 

Her eyes narrowed.  “No. Not alright.  We’ll talk about this when your father gets home.”  For a moment her gaze faltered and she looked down at her hands before clenching them into fists and releasing them.

 

“Dinner will be ready by seven.  I suggest you lose the attitude.”

 

With  his mother finally downstairs and out of his hair, Ben finished what he started and called Hux.  It only rang twice before a familiar voice cut in.

 

“Hey, where were you after school?”

 

“Had to run home. What are you up to?” Ben didn’t feel like talking about what had just happened.

 

“People are coming by later.  Dad’s out of town as usual.  Come over whenever and bring Ultimate Fights.  Phasma wants to see it.”

 

Ben knew there was no way his mom would let him go. He also knew there was no way he was staying in this house one minute longer than he had to.

 

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll be there.”

 

“All we have is Diet Coke so bring what you’re drinking.”  Hux hung up abruptly with those parting words, which was fine with Ben, he’d rather see him in person than have an awkward conversation on the phone anyway.

 

He emptied his backpack of textbooks and notepads and tossed in the DVD Hux wanted and a couple of video games. Getting anything to drink would mean passing his mom, he could drink Diet Coke for a night.  He pulled on a hoodie and his nice sneakers and crept downstairs.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” His mother called from her study.  The familiar roll of a chair across the plastic mat beneath her desk made him tense up.

 

“I’m not-- I’m just going to the library.”

 

She peered around the door frame.  “What’s in your bag?”

 

“...Books.”

 

“If you aren’t home by seven you’re going to be in big trouble.”

 

Ben shrugged and nodded, elated as he headed out the door.  She would probably ground him for a week but at least he’d have tonight to do whatever he wanted.  And Saturday was already shot.  

 

Once outside, he popped on his headphones in and made his way to Hux’s, the blaring music blocking out the click of his untied shoelaces on the pavement.  The smell of a barbeque in the neighbor’s yard made his stomach rumble.  He’d probably be eating a box of Teddy Grahams for dinner.

 

Hux lived in a stately home at the end of the block.  Ben thought the place was pretty cool.  Upstairs looked like something out of a catalogue but downstairs he had the basement to himself.  When they were kids they used to build forts from the furniture-- all the beat up shit that wasn’t pristine enough for guests got hauled down the old wood staircase and left wherever it would fit.  The family had a smaller finished room down there too with a computer where Hux kept all his books and models.  The larger unrefined part of the basement held a pool table and a small TV with a built in DVD player.  He and Hux’s friends spent a lot of time just hanging out there, playing video games and watching movies.

 

Ben unlatched the fence in Hux’s backyard and crept around to the back, fidgeting with the stupid screen door that no one had ever bothered to fix.  Hux met him there, frowning and pushing his bangs out of his face as he jiggled the lock from his side.

 

“Hang on,” he muttered, just as Ben had the trick of it.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

 

He stepped in and followed Hux down to the basement, noticing as he nearly bumped into him on the staircase that his hair was still damp as if he’d come from the shower.

 

“Were you working out or something?”

 

Hux scoffed at him.  “Something.”

 

Ben suddenly felt self-conscious that he _hadn’t_ showered since the night before, and hoped the body spray he’d put on that morning was holding up okay.  He abruptly changed the subject.

“So. All you guys have is Diet Coke, huh?” _Smooth_.

 

“Yeah, my parents switched to diet and it all tastes the same to me.”

 

Ben found that unbelievable but said nothing.  The indecipherable lyrics of The Chemical Brothers grew louder as Hux lead him into the computer room. He couldn’t help lamenting that he rarely got the house to himself to play his music this loud.

 

“I’ll burn you a copy if you want,” Hux said, nodding in the direction of the stereo.  

 

“Cool, thanks,” Ben acknowledged. He took a moment to look around and admire the model planes and tanks that Hux built, one of quite a few dorky hobbies he had that he got away with because he was so sharp-witted and cool otherwise.

 

“That’s a Matilda,” Hux said as Ben peered at large model tank sitting on the desk.  “Dad and I built that.”  Ben caught the hint of pride in his voice and he scowled and turned away.

 

“Thought you hated doing shit with your dad.”

 

“I do,” Hux said simply, turning off the stereo, going to his computer, and placing a blank CD carefully in the drive.  “It’ll take a little while.  You want a coke or something?”

 

“Sure.” Ben’s stomach gave another growl. “You got any snacks?”

 

“I picked up a box of Teddy Grahams for you.  It’s out on the table.  We can order a pizza too.  Mom left me some cash for the weekend. Said I could get whatever I want.” Hux said that as if it was a bad thing; Ben thought gloomily to the fridge and cabinets at home full of relatively healthy snacks and his mother’s passable cooking.

 

The doorbell rang, startling him.

 

“Mitaka,” Hux muttered, rolling his eyes.  They’d given up on training Mitaka to use the back entrance.  He came to the front and hit the doorbell every time like a Jehovah’s Witness or something.

 

“I’ll go get him.  Just stay down here.  You can set up the DVD if you want, we’re gonna watch it at soon as Phasma gets here.”

 

Ben sighed and watched Hux go upstairs then turned and reluctantly did as he asked. He wished it was just him and Hux tonight, didn’t really feel like hanging out with a group of people who only talked to him because he was Hux’s friend, but it was still better than being home.

 

Phasma arrived last and by the time they all took their seats on the mismatched furniture (Hux claimed the oversized beanbag on the floor, only he and Ben were allowed to sit there) the movie had been shelved in favor of arguing where to order pizza from.  Phasma talked them into a local place Ben hadn’t eaten at and shrugged when they asked what he wanted.  No point.  Phasma was there so they’d order a Hawaiian style for her, he and Mitaka would default to pepperoni, Hux would get green peppers and onions and Thanisson would eat anything you put in front of him.

 

“Get garlic bread,” Hux hollered at Phasma, nudging Ben.  She twirled the cord around a finger and made a face at him but added it to the order.  No one really cared about garlic bread except Ben who could eat it for every meal, given the opportunity.

 

“You want garlic bread?” Ben asked, confused.  

 

“No, Dummy, _you_ want garlic bread.  You always want garlic bread.”

 

Normally he’d have been flattered at the notion that Hux paid so much attention to his preferences. But after a day of being told what to do, hearing more of the same from Hux hit a nerve.

 

“You didn’t have to get it if I’m the only one who’s going to eat it,” he grumbled. Hux gave him a funny look but didn’t respond.

 

“Forty-five minutes,” Phasma said as she placed the phone back in it’s cradle.  “Put on Ultimate Fights already-- no!” she snapped in Mitaka’s direction, fixing him with a look Ben was glad not to be on the receiving end of.  The smaller boy sheepishly removed his hand from his bag.

 

“Just wanted to show the DVDs I brought in case anyone wanted to watch something else…”

 

“Nobody wants to watch that anime shit.”

 

“Ben likes it,” he challenged, looking to Ben for support.  Fuck.

 

“Some of it’s ok,” he muttered, trying not to meet Hux’s eye.  Even Hux thought some of it was ok but they weren’t going to sit through it with Mitaka chiming in every five minutes to point out his favorite parts.

 

“Ultimate Fights,” Thanisson said, nodding at Phasma.  He looked disgustingly pleased with himself when she grinned at him and nodded back.

 

When the food arrived Ben thought that eating something might settle the uneasy feeling in his stomach, but it didn’t. He only managed one slice of pizza and one piece of garlic bread.  As the others talked he busied himself fidgeting with the edge of his paper plate and looked up to see Hux frowning at him.

 

Because no one, not even Hux, seemed willing to move to clean up, Ben collected their plates and stacked them on top of the empty pizza box to take to the garbage.

 

“You don’t have to…” Hux began, but Ben was already halfway upstairs. He discarded the stuff, washed the grease from his hands, and took a deep breath before heading back down.  The fight scene from Fist of Legend that he’d looked forward to showing Phasma would be starting at any moment.

 

As he reached the bottom of the stairs he heard the others talking and stopped short of entering the room.

 

“I told you that other takeout place is better,” Thanisson was saying, “even Ben didn’t like it!”

 

“What are you talking about, they make their crust _way too thin_. It’s gross. Hux, you liked it, right?”

 

“Mm?” Hux sounded like he’d only been paying half attention. “Oh. Yeah, it was really good.”

 

“You’re just saying that because she’s your best friend.”

 

“Maybe. What’s your point?”

 

Phasma burst out laughing and Thanisson gave up while Mitaka awkwardly tried to change the subject.

 

Ben felt like his stomach had dropped down into his feet. He suddenly wanted to be far, far away from here, but he knew if he bailed they’d never let him live it down next week at school. Besides, he told Hux he’d stay, and Hux was still _his_ best friend even if… even if he, apparently, wasn’t Hux’s.

 

He took a deep breath and steeled himself then entered the room. He felt Hux’s gaze on him as he returned to his seat but he couldn’t meet his eyes, irrationally fearful that Hux would know he’d been eavesdropping.

 

“What did I miss?”

 

“In the movie? Nothing.” Phasma answered. “Here? Thanisson being wrong, _again_.”

 

“Not my fault you and Hux tag-team people and Mitaka won’t take anyone’s side on anything,” Thanisson shot back.

 

“Sounds about right,” Ben muttered before he could stop himself. Only Hux was sitting close enough to catch it and shot him a quick look that screamed _what’s your problem?_ He opened his mouth and Ben _almost_ hoped he’d start something, just to break this thread of awful tension Ben felt and give him a real excuse to leave. But Hux only glanced at the others and then started talking about something else entirely.

 

Ben remained quiet and brooding for a while after that, his eyes trained on the screen to look as though he was paying attention to the movie even though his mind was miles away. He ended up getting distracted by it anyway. Sinking down more comfortably into his seat, he almost started to relax a little, even cracking a smile as Hux reached over to tug at his shoelace.  It was a private joke between them, his shoes always being untied.  Sometimes Hux liked to wind the laces around his fingers while they watched TV.

 

Then the ringing of a phone momentarily drowned out the movie and everyone looked around in confusion. It was muffled at first, until Mitaka shifted and pulled his phone from his back pocket. He was the only one of them who owned one and they gave him a hard time about it on a regular basis.  Even Hux, who had a pager.  From the look on his face he clearly expected this to be no different. He started to apologize, but stopped when he looked down at the number on the screen and frowned.

 

“It’s you home phone, Ben,” Mitaka said softly.

 

His stomach hit the floor.

 

“Give me that,” Hux said before Ben could react.  He snatched the phone away and to Ben’s horror began speaking to whoever was on the the other end.

 

“Who is this?” Hux demanded.  “Yeah,” he continued, “maybe he is, why?  I don’t appreciate your tone of voice, either.  Yeah, go on, call my mother, _I_ can’t even get ahold of her.”

 

Ben shied away from the eyes on him, round and startled.  Hux didn’t seem to notice that the room had gone deathly quiet.

 

“You can’t talk to me like that and you can’t talk to Ben like that.”

 

“Armitage,” Mitaka pleaded, and Ben realized that Mitaka would be the one in trouble no matter what happened.  Ben’s parents would call his parents and it would be a mess.”

 

“Dopheld’s not here.  I just picked up his phone,” Hux muttered, as though tuning into the thought.  Mitaka sank into a chair in relief.

 

“Yeah,” Hux added, “whatever.”  Then he stopped speaking for so long that Ben crept up to him, desperate to hear whose voice was on the other line.  His father might be getting in the car right now, driving to Mitaka’s house, demanding to find out who had his phone…

 

“Yeah, well...  fine.”  Hux met Ben’s eyes and held out the phone.

 

“Your dad wants to talk to you.”

 

_Shit._

 

“He’s not mad,” Hux said in a curiously flat voice.  Like he was just as stunned by it all.

 

“Dad?” Ben practically croaked as he held the phone to his ear.  A sigh on the other end and then:

 

“Listen, Kid, whatever happened at school… whatever happened with your mother today, we can work it out later.  She and I have some things to talk about so it might be better if you just stay at your friend’s house.”

 

“Wait… what?”  A sick feeling crept over him.  This was worse than the yelling he’d expected.  Much worse.

 

“I’ll come pick you up in the morning.  And tell your mouthy friend he owes your mother an apology for speaking to her like that.  Who the hell is that kid?”

 

“He’s… I’m... we’re not at Mitaka’s,” he said in a small voice.

 

“Right.  Okay.  Are you safe, Ben?”

 

“I wanna come home.”

 

Tears threatened and he pressed his palm against his forehead as if he could ward them off.

 

“If you guys are having a sleepover that’s fine, just tell me where to pick you up tomorrow.  Maybe you and I can go out for breakfast or something.”

 

“I have detention tomorrow morning.”  He closed his eyes, anticipating sitting silently in the school cafeteria while a monitor walked between the tables.  Two hours of studying or scribbling in his notebook with the shadow of this conversation on him.

 

“Right.  Sunday, then.  Call me to let me know if you need a ride to school tomorrow.”

 

“Dad…”

 

“Listen, Ben.  You know that no matter what happens your mother and I love you very much.  We just need to work some things out between us and none of this is your fault and I want you to know that.”

 

_“Dad.”_

 

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay?  Have fun with your friends tonight.”

 

“Okay,” Ben said finally.  His cut the connection and when he handed the phone to Mitaka his hands shook so badly that he nearly dropped it.

 

“Oooooh someone’s in _trou-ble_.”

 

“Shut up, Phasma,” Hux said, eyes searching Ben’s face.

 

“Sorry, I just… I really don’t like your mom.  She put your dad on the phone and he was weird.  Did something happen?”

 

“Um.  He said I could stay the night.”

 

Ben thought briefly that he might vomit but the feeling passed to be replaced by a growing resentment towards all of them.   _Assholes._  Hux and his stupid best friend, Phasma; Thanisson, desperate for her approval and Hux’s; Mitaka who was too much of a pushover to really confide in…

 

He shouldn’t have come here.  He ought to be home with his parents and pleading with them to take back whatever was happening.

 

“Yeah, of course you can stay the night,” Hux was saying.  “That was the plan.  Don’t worry about it.”

 

“I just want to be alone for a little while, is that okay?  Can I just get a fucking moment to myself, _Armitage_?”

 

As if stung by this words Hux stepped back a little.  “Yeah, whatever.  You can do what you want.”

 

Mitaka looked as though he wanted to say something but his shoulders slumped and he stared at the floor instead.

 

Ben turned around and tried his best not to flee the goddamned room as he took the stairs quickly and practically threw himself into the back yard.  Hux had a great tree for climbing, though he hadn’t climbed a tree since he was ten, and if he climbed up high enough he could probably see the lights of his house at the other end of the block.  He imagined his parents at home, arguing as usual.  Without him there they wouldn’t even have to watch their voices or pretend.

 

As the air grew chill he wrapped his arms around himself, obstinate in the face of the wind.

 

“Ben,” Hux called from the screen door.

 

He sniffed and wiped his nose.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Phasma and the guys are setting up sleeping bags.  Do you want the couch?”

 

“No,” Ben muttered, walking back inside in defeat as Hux held the door open for him.  “I want the beanbag.”

 

“You can have it.  I’ve got my camping bag.”

 

With the TV off and lights dimmed that place grew strangely more inviting.  Even the sound of Phasma laughing at something seemed faraway.  Like he and Hux were the only two people in the room as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

 

Thanisson and Phasma lay their bags out side by side behind the couch with Mitaka opposite them.  He watched as Hux placed his next to Mitaka’s and tried to push down a small stab of betrayal.  He‘d said he wanted to be alone and Hux was giving him space.  How could he complain?

 

“Hey, Hux, I’m gonna go rinse out my mouth and lie down.  I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like talking.”

 

The large beanbag comforted him a little.  He and Hux used to fight about who got to sleep on it and predictably Hux won because it was his house.  It was easy to curl up in, the cool fabric a relief.

 

When Hux turned the lights out he could hear the others carry on without him as they talked in hushed voices broken by the occasional giggles, mostly from Phasma, and he curled up tighter at the pang of loneliness. His chest felt tight and he breathed slowly to push down the sensation that he might cry at any moment. He couldn’t, not here, they’d definitely hear him and they’d _definitely_ make fun of him…

 

It took him a while to notice that Hux’s voice wasn’t among theirs. He wondered if Hux had fallen asleep already but didn’t dare roll over to find out.

 

Slowly the chatter died down as one by one they dozed off, until it was just Mitaka and Thanisson whispering about some classmate of theirs alongside Phasma’s light snores. Ben allowed himself to release a shuddering breath which turned, against his will, into a sharp hiccup. He froze, hoping that no one was awake enough to hear it.

 

For a moment he was sure the slip had gone unnoticed. Then something rustled behind him, a blanket being pushed aside, and the floor creaked as someone moved closer.

 

“Ben?”

 

The beanbag jostled as Hux pushed at Ben so he could slide in next to him. Ben was momentarily relieved that it was Hux and no one else, then embarrassed that Hux would see him like this. He obediently shifted over, but kept his face turned away and pressed against the cushion, hair falling over his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.  Whatever your dad said to you-- was it my fault?  I’m sorry I was rude to your mom, but I won’t let anyone talk to my boyfriend that way.”

 

Ben opened his mouth to answer, to reassure Hux that what his dad had to say had nothing to do with him, when the rest of the sentence caught up with him.

 

“I-- y-your-- _what?_ ” he croaked.  “You’re _not_ my boyfriend.”

 

“Ben, you don’t have to pretend you aren’t like that, everyone knows.”

 

“They-- no, it’s, not _that_ , I mean, since when are we--” If everything about this terrible day hadn’t felt so painfully real, he would have sworn he was dreaming.

 

Hux placed gentle hands on his back, his shoulder.

 

“I’m into you, Ben Solo.  Don’t tell me you aren’t into me too.  You think I let just anyone hang out here, drink my mom’s soda, sleep on my beanbag?”

 

Ben sighed at Hux’s touch. He was torn between hesitant joy and disbelief.

 

“I thought,” he whispered, “that stuff was because we were best friends.”

 

“Phasma’s my best friend,” Hux said easily.  “You’re special.  Come here.”  He coaxed Ben towards him, trying to turn him over.

 

After a moment of half-hearted resistance, Ben gave in and turned, awkwardly re-adjusting his long limbs and trying not to accidentally push Hux off. He settled down and tried to school his features into something neutral. It was probably hopeless; even if in the dark Hux couldn’t see his flushed cheeks or bloodshot eyes, he’d surely notice how Ben still trembled with pent up emotion.

 

Hux tugged him into an awkward embrace, bumping his forehead against Ben’s. He smelled clean, from his shower earlier, and familiar, the same shampoo he’d used for as long as Ben could remember, and it calmed his nerves a bit.

 

“Don’t you want to be with me?”  The hint of vulnerability in Hux’s voice made his chest ache.

 

“Of course I do,” Ben answered immediately, before Hux could think otherwise for another second. “I just didn’t think...you never asked me out!” His voice cracked a little. Continuing to whisper was a struggle but the last thing he wanted was for the others to wake and interrupt this moment.

 

“I didn’t know I had to.  You’re my first boyfriend.  I’m not an expert.”

 

Hux’s admission was something of a relief. He was always so competent in everything, it was nice to know that at least in this they might be equally out of their depth. But something else still nagged at Ben.

 

“I don’t get it,” he said. “Why me?”

 

“Because I like the way you look at me.  And how your shoes are always untied, Idiot.  And your ridiculous ears.  I like your eyes.  I like listening to music with you.  I like how you roll the bag back up when you’re done with the Teddy Grahams like you don’t want them to go stale even though you eat them too quickly for that to ever happen.  I even like that horrible body spray you always use too much of.”  He grinned and Ben caught the gleam of it in the dark.  Embarrassed, Ben rolled away only for Hux to wrap his arms around him from behind and murmur into the back of his neck:

 

“I like your hands and how careful you are with them.”

 

Hux took one of Ben’s hands in his and clutched it tightly.

 

Ben was shaking so hard he thought he might shatter into pieces. At the same time, a warm feeling filled his chest, and it was undeniably _good_. He squeezed Hux’s hand and tried to come up with anything at all to say. How could he begin to describe everything he liked about Hux? He was still so shocked; maybe it wasn’t the best time to try.

 

Instead he settled back further into Hux’s comforting arms, hoping the message was clear enough: _please don’t let go._

 

Hux squeezed back and pressed his nose into the back of Ben’s neck, his breath raising goosebumps.

 

“Thank you,” Ben finally managed, barely a whisper. Then, “...Armie?”

 

“Hmm?” Hux nuzzled him again, warming him to his toes.

 

“So do we...kiss now, or?” Ben ran his tongue over his lips, noting with worry that they were slightly chapped.

 

Hux shifted a little and then whispered, “I’ve never done that before.  We could try it tomorrow.  Practice.  If you want to.”

 

Ben relaxed. He was more than content as they were, with Hux curled around him. He rubbed a hand softly up and down Hux’s arm.

 

“Yeah,” he said, feeling as though a weight had lifted.  Whatever happened next it would be okay.  Hux would be there and it would be okay.

 

“I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have oddly strong memories of 2002, a year after my graduation, so it seemed natural to set the story then.


End file.
